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Why Has Dating Become So Hard?
July 17, 2017, 1:44 p.m.
Was Dating Hard Back Then?
Let’s take a look at how dating used to be. You would meet a nice church girl or classmate, you’d become high-school sweethearts, and marry within your town. Your dates would consist of baseball games and dine in movie theaters. However, the ideal relationship back then was non-conforming towards interracial couples, gay couples, multi-cultural couples, and couples with different religious views. Therefore, was dating harder? How about if you were attracted to a person in which categorized your relationship as “non-socially acceptable”?
Therefore, why has dating become hard? Or, has it really? Now, the openness towards all kinds of couples, relationships, religions, and varieties of couples has increased, should this not make dating much easier?
Times Change, And So Have We
As times change, so do humans and the technological advancements of the “app-dating” world has caused an increase in dating as well as “hook-ups.” This has sprung a wave of love-aficionados into a frenzy – with every swipe right they fear their love interest will not be interested in return. With this in mind, dating has become a love game of “rush and snatch.” Basically, you rush everything to get to the point, can you snatch this one up? Or is this one a goner?
You would think that the open-wave of acceptance and the numerous ways of dating out there would allow for humans to find their idea love interest much faster. Therefore, why has dating become so hard?
The Problem is Focus
Being fed constant information, our minds on automatic mode, and we barely having time to enjoy the moment, no wonder we humans lack focus. This lack of focus has translated into our romantic relationships. Whereas, we lose focus of our true desires for the short-term tempting ones. If we desire to date, get to know a person, and eventually be in a relationship, our focus is deterred the moment we see a better love interest.
If he does not like coffee then it is time to swipe right for the next one. If he does not have a PhD then too bad. If she does not like Star Wars then its better to move on. Our focus has been sporadic because we ourselves have not pinpointed exactly what we want and why we want it. With this in mind, many people that are wanting to date and get stuck in the dating phase, realizing that all dates they have been on have been meaningless. This generation's problem is lack of focus, and lack of focus happens when you do not know yourself, what you want, or your needs.
The Solution Is… Get Clear & Know Yourself
As corny as it may seem, the solution is for you to take the time to really get to know yourself as a person. The moment you begin to value who you are as a person is the moment you will only allow dates that do the same to take up your mind. With this in mind, much of the dating problems of today are due to a generation that wants to grow up too fast and, by the time they actually are old enough to mature or act like an adult, they have experienced life to a degree that causes disillusionment. This disillusionment leads people to think that things are “too difficult.” In reality, it is not difficult at all, you just have not know yourself enough to know what you desire and how to go about it.
When you have an unknown definition of love, you create insecurity and fogginess. Get clear by knowing what you want, who you are, and how to go about it. Then, allow yourself to bring about a date that desires the same thing.
-From the NYC Rooftop Bar Crawl Team